we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
