I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
