you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
