if you like me you must not know who I am
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
