FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
