I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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