We're facebook friends in real life
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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