The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
