He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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