it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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