Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
