Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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