he wants to bone in the snuggie
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
