watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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