I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
