I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
