I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
