I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
