My brain says no but my pants say off.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
