hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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