sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
