i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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