My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize