She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
