OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
