i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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