I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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