ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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