wanna go halves on a baby?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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