hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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