If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is classic penis vs brain.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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