around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
