U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
