he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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