Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
