do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
