I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
