we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
