you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
