Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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