Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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