I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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