They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
