Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I accidentally had phone sex last night
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
