I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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