I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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