Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
