oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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