I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
