It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
