if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
