i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
