then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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