Pappa wants mamma naked
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
