We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
