and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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