I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
