he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
