That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
