Well apparently he's into motor boating.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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