that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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