Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
