there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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