no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
