i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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