so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this just has baby written all over it
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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