i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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