I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
