More tranny stories later!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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