walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
