Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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