My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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