"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize