woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
