Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize