Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
