I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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