you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
