Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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