my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
